CC cream? Really?

I'm sorry but I am sooo behind on the double letter creams. I still cannot really get the gist of the BB cream. I have no clue what BB stands for and what it actually does apart from being slightly lighter than a foundation. And last night as I was flicking through the new issue of Vogue, with fabulous Beyonce on the cover btw, I saw the ad for a CC cream. Really, dear beauty scientists? Really? I mean what can this be? Is it like an upgrade? Or is it like a Manolo Blahnik of foundation/moisturiser creams? Please, have mercy and explain it on the packaging.

So where exactly are we going with this? Shall we expect a DD cream to arrive together witn the A/W14? That would be just so rude. I think we all know what DD stands for in the modern world and it has nothing to do with the face. It's actually is what, apparently, men focus on instead of focusing on our face whilst having a conversation. Apparently, as I have no clue what that feels like. If size mattered I would have to use an AA cream. And that still doesn't bring positive associations...

Dear L'Oreal, Dior, Maybeline, Lancome, etc. Please, don't make us more confused. What is wrong with naming a product what it actually is, not by a secret code? XX stands for a band, MM for peanuts covered in crispy chocolate, EE for a mobile network and FF for Tesco clothes. It doesn't look like the world needs any more double letter products. Just tell us what it is and save us the time we spend figuring it out (yes, I have Googled it). We don't want to guess what we're picking off Boots' shelf. We already know your product is life-changingly fabulous. But what is it actually?

Still not knowing what to expect I've decided this morning to actually try out of those CC wonders as a little sample was attached to a perfect face in the ad of such product. After my morning run and a refreshing shower I dashed to the mirror excited about this 1.5ml miracle fluid making me look radiant, 10 years younger and instantly happier at 8am. It must have been karma. I'm sorry my dear Dior Nude foundation that I even considered cheating on you... As I applied a little bit of said CC cream I realised that I was transforming into Nicki Minaj! I had to put the extra light on as I was shocked by the orangeness of the wonder cream with 'a hint of colour'. That definitely woke me up! Conclusion: if you don't want to like a walking spray-tan-went-wrong example, step away from the L'Oreal CC cream. Call me old-fashioned but I'm going nowhere close to BBuying and CCreams AAnytime soon...